Obscene Boredom!!!

As reading through the many obscene article on College Humor I came Across this very unique but at the same time dismal diary of a charmander. Now those of you who remember what a charmander is it is a pokemon something that the youth of american got into a few years back until you realized the imense amount of money you could get for someone who fucked up on one of the cards and had square corners or some other minut defect... Any way read this and laugh your ass off cus its funny!!!

Funny things i read!!!

Waking up next to Megan Fox: Waking up next to Megan fox is a goal that 99.999999% of us will never amount to but imagine how fucking incredible it would be!!!

1. her breathe is always minty fresh
2. she chills with optimus prime
3. she has really long tattoos that you can read when your board
4. she can summon Apollo, god of the son, to do her bidding!!

A Letter to parents who join facebook!!!

Dear Parent,Welcome to Facebook! After hearing newscasters talk incessantly about this brand new technology that the rest of us have known about since 2005, you've finally decided to suck it up and join. It will be very useful as you reunite with old friends, discover new entertainment options, and creep the hell out of your children. Seriously, why the hell are you on this?To help, I thought I'd explain a few features that you could easily figure out yourself if you weren't distracted by re-runs of Matlock. Your Information:Here is where you put up optional information about yourself, and then later complain that everyone knows that information. I recommend starting with your phone number, so you can complain when people call you.

The many facets of my game!!!

Last night was the third place tournament game for the elite basketball league... Needless to say our team didnt play too well. More than likely why we lost. Anyway, prior to that game i was playing with a few of my friends for more of a warm up game to get the blood flowin a lil bit. During that game i was put on a friend of mine who shall remain nameless for the sake of me absolutely dominating him in the paint. Anyway after scoring about 45% of my teams points i decided to show the many facets of my game to my friend by shooting the game winning three ball which was absolutely wet!!! And for those of you who are not familiar with the term that means it was nothing but net from about 2 feet outside the arch!!!
The shot is somewhat like this but not as important... However later in the evening we went on to workout for an hour or so pushed myself a little harder than i had thought so i now feel like absolute jello and went to BW3's after the workout. The conversation at B-dubs was interesting to say the least nothing really major happened just colton trying like hell to get this girl at the front desk his number while at the same time some whigger ass kid was too... what a tool!!! (not colton the whigger kid).. Holla!

Last night was crazy i wish we taped it!!!

Last night was great!!!! Needless to say I worked out for a few hours without the usual hotties that are there on a daily basis!!!! Which did suck a little bit just cus between sets its nice to have something to look at than the dude standing to you while you attempt to catch your breath!!! Anyway after lifting we (me B-dizzle Bid-D and B-rad G) went to G-pa's place to watch what we had thought would be an interesting fourth game of the NBA playoffs... Which in all fairness was event full in the fourth when Orlando was actually ahead and made an effort. But on the other hand you have to look at the choke artist (Kobe) and see how many air balls he threw up in about 10 minutes... Now lets be fair, if you have a multi-million dollar contract to play any professional sport you should not be doing shit like that... Maybe its just me but of all people he chokes under pressure. Anyway as the stage was set for some great times for the four of us we realized how many insane dancing figures there were in the room... If that doesn't make sense hopefully this will help you out a little bit. If you have ever seen Billy the large mouth bass (the thing every redneck American has in their house) that's what I'm talking about except a little more elaborate than that.

Big Mouth Billy Bass from Christian on Vimeo. But one of these was a snake which needless to say in my state i was utterly terrified when this thing literally lunged at my hand and for some unknown reason i thought it was going to bite me... Anyway that was that and now i realize never to mess with peoples shit at their house because you never know what might happen... lesson learned!!!

Nuckin Futs!!!

So sitting at home last night and early on into this morning i couldnt help but think about all the stupid things i have done in my not so long life thus far but on the other hand there are a lot of things i want to do before the inevitable happens!!! Now this isn't a bucket list it is a compilation of videos that i have seen or just randomly watched while bored at home of things people are doing that are way more crazy than i would be right now!!!

This would be number one... free running!!! If you havent heard of free running i strongly recomend that you watch more of these videos on youtube or somewhere else. This stuff is crazy if you actually think about how much force these people put through their body its nuts they even did an episode of sports science on the damn thing its hella nutz!!!

Video number two would be of an actual friend of mine Mykel!!! Mad props out to this kid as being one of the elite riders in the world that can consistently nail a front flip!!! You can check out the rest of the Division Bmx team at summerfest in a little less than two weeks!!!

Ok so i'm no Harlem Globe trotter or anything but i do play basketball on a somewhat regular basis and very rarely do i see this kinda thing... But damn is it good to see that skaters can nail this shit but who knows how many attempts it took to make those shots...

I like most people who enjoy a good ol' muscle car laughed when i first saw the smart car anf thought are you serious simply because i can gurantee that i would push that motor out with my foot!!! But after seing what could potentially be done when swapping out the stock engine and putting in a hayabusa motor i was impressed!!! Smoked a ferrari not to mention they blocked out the liscence plate so the dude in the ferrari wouldnt get shit on by everyone!!!

Stupidity at its finest!!!

There is quite possibly nothing better than when people fight at a bar!!! Especially when there is a really stupid ass reason for the fight ti have started in the first place!!! Anyway i digress from my original point... In my own personal experiences in working at bars and a few summer festivals here and there i have witnessed two different mentalities when it comes down to people fighting in a bar or club. The first being that of the G.W.A. mentality which in my mind screams i cant afford a law suit and we are a bunch of pussies to put it nicely. Dont get me wrong i was there for over a year and it was fun but if you get poped in the face you have to basically smile and tell the person have a nice night... BULLSHIT!!! Someone hits me im gonna hit them back. The other being you are a bouncer meaning that if someone starts something you are there to end it!! No questions asked do what it takes!!! But to get to the topic at hand i would like to thank the douche who was sitting at north and oakland in his base model Chrysler 300 with your shitty chrome rims... You sir and or madam are a retard and should consider yourself lucky that the usual unmarked wasnt in his place as usual and issue you a huge fucking ticket!!! Not to mention the smell of burning rubber in the bar which more than likely still is lingering aroung right now hours later... I hate people like you and to be honest the last time i did a burnout was in high school grow up peter pan!!! Fucking tool!!!

As a matter of fact!!!

Yesterday proved to be quite the uneventful day besides a few major events that will be occurring over the next few weeks. Starting from the beginning first round of the Elite Basketball tournament went surprisingly well... I consider the game not just a win but a fucking statement that we should never in a million years have ever lost to that team. Second meaningful event is the interview to a job that i have thought about since i turned 18... Bouncer at a gentleman's club!!! I can hardly wait to be getting paid to be there instead of me running up a huge ass bill!!! Summer should prove to be quite interesting!!!