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Life in general!!

So over the past few days I have put a lot of things into perspective in my life when it comes down to the finer points at least. Things that would normally throw me for a loop are pretty much getting to me a little faster than they normally do but thats to be expected this close to graduating and comming off of a somewhat relaxing summer! But last night really put things into perspective. I was talking to a friend of mine about some issues that I will not get into, but lets just say that something got to me that usually wouldn't. But B-Dizzle and i were just talkin about this shit and everything pretty much clicked and made sense for once... So I have come upon a new life motto so to speak and it goes a little something like this; there is plenty of stuff in the world to worry about but to be honest I really don't give a shit!!! Now for the majority of you who know me on a somewhat personal basis know that I have a general tendency of being a caring person but you know what from this point on Ima be me don't matter whats goin on in life im gonna do my own damn thing and just do what i think is best for me and my family and friends now if that meens going out and getting shit faced waisted or just chillin at home doesn't matter im gonna do what makes me happy!!! So to all of you who are reading this try I hope that in my new found revelation you see my intent but if you don't feel free to ask me about it or even better join in on the fun and watch the roller coaster that is going to be my life thus day forward!!!

Meet the Parents!!!

So, last night after getting my swell on to meet my summer goal of putting a few pounds back on cus apparently im too skinny now... But in regards to the above mentioned title to this post i brought the girl i am currently dating over to my house with the assumption that my sister had a basketball game and that my mom would be with her and that my dad was at meetings all night... Boy was i wrong i sure as hell walked in the door and my dad and sister are sitting at the kitchen table and my mom was in the family room... Nothing better than the unexpected surprise of introducing a new girl to your parents totally unknown to them... Not to mention the awkward silence as we walked in the door. Now my parents could really give a rats ass as to who i bring to the house it just the overall situation of introducing someone knew to your family i guess that really makes most nervous... So that being said one might think about a potential of me meeting her parents and going through the typical barage of Q&A that they have... Which could range from anything as small as who the hell are you and go as deep as where do you want to be in 15 years... Now unlike most men my age I do have plans for the future and i hold down at least 2 jobs at any given time so its not like i have much to worry about its just the overall situation that poses a small issue i guess... anyway for future referrence as most of you know I dont distort myself for people to like me... either you do or you dont really makes no difference to me if you are on one side of the fence or the other just dont sit on the damn thing!!!

Can't help but laugh...

OK so once again I am extremely bored at work and looking through the usual websites to entertain myself so I quite literally don't lose my mind from boredom... Anyway I was looking through ebaums world and found this video... watch it I swear its hilarious!!!

So blonde's have a shitty rep as it is for being notoriously stupid which in some cases is more true than in others but this is a prime example for why blonde's are ridiculed for being dumb... I saw this and was almost rolling on the ground and the best part is, is that she doesn't get what happened.... HILARIOUS!!!!

You must be joking!!!

Once again I am stuck at work and bored off my ass doing tedious transactions that quite literally i do everyday i think i would rather watch paint dry!!! (If you think I'm joking I'm fucking serious!!!) But that being said i do manage to entertain my friends with these really stupid but funny blog posts... So here it is the topic of the day men you really shouldn't see as influential!!!! As voted by people on askmen.com... First would be this guy, Chris Angel from mind freak!!! Dude seriously he looks like a wanna be Tommy Lee but at least Tommy knew how to get with the ladies I mean hell I'm sure the majority of people out there have seen the video and don't need me to explain it to you!!!

Next on the list is American Idol Host Ryan Seacrest... Do I really need to explain why this man is not only not influential but quite possibly batting for the home team? I mean shit even Simon called him out on live TV for being queer!!!

These two "men" if you can even call them such are reasons why the word metrosexual came about and to be quite honest they are scary and if i ever saw either one of them i would give them a swift kick in the ass!!! But they might enjoy that so maybe roshambo or something like that!!! Holla!

Shocking I know!

First I want to say to all my friends who read this on a somewhat regular basis this may be a little more on the serious non-comedic side so bare with me if you will... I will try to make some finer more funny points out of this though so it wont be all boring hopefully. As i get increasingly older and wiser as to what to expect out of life there are always a few curve balls that are thrown at you in hopes that you will learn from them and eventually apply the knowledge to which you have learned... One of these things is the uncertain obsession with the bad boy image. Now i will admit i was told the other day that i posess that image of a bad boy for some reason. And to those of you who know me know im not really a bad boy but ill be damned if i dont know how to go out and party like a fucking rockstar every once and a while!!! I will let you decide though to be fair about it. But its weird to think of ones self as a bad boy and why the fuck i would want that persona to follow me. It really made me think of the new MTV show is she really going out with him... Sad I know one of the few things i actually passed by on MTV that actually made me laugh hysterically!!!

Now beside the blatent fact that these guys look like huge tools all matching and shit they are viewed as somewhat desired now this may be due to the six pack or the fact that they look good on the beach but i can promise you one thing!!! Any one of these guys started shit with me i would be the piss out of them and take their hot ass girl friend and screw her brains out in front of him as he watched crying like a little girl!!! That being said i miay be perceived as somewhat of a dick or degenerate but like i tell everyone else like me or hate me i really dont care!!! Cus if you do like me you must know me pretty well!!!

Sad But True...

Im sure you all know that the "King of Pop" Michael Jackson is dead... And to be quite frank if you didnt know that and you are finding this out from me now you seriously must live under a fucking rock or possibly a carboard box... Anyway, in his death came a series of jokes that i find rather amusing now thats not to say that i dont think he had a little talent back in the day but the older he got the worse the music got and the more children were violated by him or possibly that fucking monkey he was always with... reminded me of speed racer for some reason.

Anyway thats just a little clip from the chappelle show in regards to Michael Jackson thought it was funny and stuck it in there... On to the jokes:
the jackson family said they never saw micheal this stiff since he last watched peter pan
Michael Jaqckson ash's are gonna be made into an "etchy sketch" sochildren can still play with his knob
During the autopsy the doctors found out michael jackson was 80% plastic, so he is gonna be recycled into plastic bags for 3 reasons... He remains white and plastic and still dangerous for children to play with
I rang up ticket master to get a refund on my MJ tickets, they just laughed and told me to "Beat it"
Did you hear the new lead into Micheal Jackson's death. :No what? You know the "Make a wish foundation." :Yeah. Well they gave Farah Fawcett a last wish. Either because of her lost state of mind or because she was just that caring her last wish was that all the children would be safe. Fawcets To Make a Wish rep. leaned over and whispered into her ear " i cant promise you that, but i can promise i will do the next best thing." THE NEXT DAY MICHEAL JACKSON WAS DEAD.
Why did Michael Jackson love having so many plastic surgeries and having to be stuck with so many needles? It was the only way he could feel a little prick and not go to jail.


That should do the trick. Now some might think im a little incensitive for posting this but there is some humor behind it. Whether or not you agree with me is your own decision but he's gone, he's guilty and oh yeah just like dave chappelle said he made thriller!!! Thriller!!!

Why I Hate outsourcing our Gates crew!!!

The Long awaited return!!!

So i know that i talked to a lot of people at summerfest over the last 11 days and I know that a lot of you had no fucking clue that I worked there but here are some of the high and low points of what happened during summerfest '09!!! First off I would like to give mad props to the guys of division BMX and the heavy hitters that showed up for some of the shows over the 9 day run they were down there!!!

I just want to say that there was truly never a dull moment with those guys down there!!! Whether it be something as minimal as requesting zip ties (Thomas) so that one of you crazy bastards can climb on top of your trailer and hang Harley Banners to something a little more like oh i don't know someone starting a fight with you guys seen as one guy fighting a BMX team seems like a good idea!!! Nothing really should surprise me while working down there but somethings always do!!! For instance I wanna give it up to Tippy, Mykel and Koji the last show that i missed due to some shithead, which i will get into later, but these three guys in the last train nailed in order of name and trick: 720 to the cleanest front flip of the entire fest to a back flip tailwhilp!!! I swear to god i better See some videos of this somewhere so i can post it up here for all to see!!!

To all of my you who actually watch the news on Fox 6 at ten and apparently a few other times this week yes i was on the news and yes the older gentleman was my partner! This one is for you Clarence I was skeptical at first about working with and older guy but I'll be damned if I didn't have the best partner I have had in the last four years of being there!!! You're amazing sense of humor towards my generation never ceased to amaze me along with your ability to put someone on the ground even if it meant getting a few bumps and bruises along the way!!! I hope to see you again next year or potentially at a festival sometime later on this summer!!! OK now for the recap that goes in tandem with the little yellow book many of you may have seen in my back pocket that literally went everywhere with me while i was down there!!! This might be a huge liability to the MWF corporation for me posting this but to be blunt everyone asks me what happens down there and this is a chance to tell you how great that job really is!!!

Guy passed the fuck out next to the bathrooms!!! This kid was so shitfaced waisted along with his mind being right pissed his pants and threw up all over himself. After all of that he openly admitted he was drunk, underage and very blurry in the head which most of you can guess what that means!!! But the really funny part is that this poor kid whom i feal absolutely no remorse for ended up being booked because he has a big fucking mouth. I would have loved to hear the phone call from detox in the morning to the kids parents. I can imagine something like is Mr. whoever there. Speaking. We have your son in District one detox for being inebriated and a total fucking idiot!! After that just a few escorts to the CP for 10/55's nothing really major... Next thing that sticks out in my mind would be this little Chicano kid who was running his mouth to an grounds crew and a 10/55 but he ended up being a struggler and i was forced to use a compliance hold (arm bar) to walk the young man to mid gate. Let this be a lesson to all of you who think oh summerfest red shirts are ass holes and what not well yes we can be but here is the thing if you 3% of the 100% that are down there who feel like giving us a hard time and being dicks there is nothing better to me or to the other grounds people than taking you off the grounds and smiling as you turn around give me the hello police officer finger and politely say have a good night as if to say HA HA HA Fuck you get out!!! Next event would be a guy that got his nose busted by a girl. Now granted he grabbed her ass apparently but i guess he learned his lesson don't grab a girls ass cus shit you got the shit beat out of you!!! nose broken, 1" cut above your eyebrow and almost getting knocked out ha ha ha!!

Next on my list of memorable moments would be that of a young man in miller who decided to drink a little too much. Just a little background so you get a mental image. Kid was standing in the mid walk way swaying back and forth smoking a cig. Anything that moved by him he bumped into myself included. After watching the young man i approached him and asked for ID he replied with a elongated drag off the cig said yes and attempted to stumble into the oncoming crowd... Well I'm sure that kids arm hurts a little seen as one of the Vice units had to jump in and escort the SOB to CP for DC what an idiot!!! after all of those events it was pretty much a blur of random fights, underage drinkers who think they can handle their liquor and genuine douchbagery from guys who think they are the shit!!! After all I'm just a (fill in the blank with some derogatory term) security guy with a (fill in the blank with a low dollar an hour amount) who wont do shit with my life!!! Right and that's why your looking back at me from outside the gate DUMB ASS!!!

Oh and lets not forget one thing i have no problem taking people if need be ask the 6'3" 260lb guy I hip tossed the other night for swinging at another guard, Sines you would be proud!!!